Thursday, May 19, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Porn for straight girls, hallelujah!
Do you know Bobbi Starr? If you do, can you personally thank her for existing? And if you don't, please stop reading this post and go to her site immediately to enjoy enormous orgasms this woman's prodigious talents as performer/purveyor of some very hot shit.
Thanks to Fleshbot, which recently posted a link to Ms. Starr's directorial debut (pithily titled "Downtown 3-Way"), I can now say I have seen the promised land. Having watched "Downtown 3-Way and the other free video on the site, called "Hollywood Hotel," I can also say that this is porn I feel good (really, really good) about watching. Here's my personal Siskel & Ebert take on both of them.
"Downtown 3-Way" opens perhaps none too promisingly, with a "set" that consists of a bed, a window and three walls over which you can clearly see the rest of the warehouse in which the film is being shot. Two gals are hanging out on a bed (aw, roomies!) when the doorbell rings and the newly moved-in guy next door comes in to... borrow a cup of sugar? And then rapidly ends up pantsless, happily engaged in a mutual ravaging with his new neighbors. All manner of oral, vaginal, and anal combinations ensue. This little film has been responsible for at least half a dozen orgasms in my household between myself and my man, and will be again in the future, for sure.
"Hollywood Hotel" is perhaps a wee bit... classier, or at least less overtly "we're filming porn in a warehouse over here" than "Downtown 3-Way." There's not even a suggestion of a plot — just two people making out in a hallway, giving & receiving a BJ in said hallway, then stumbling down said hallway to the bedroom to get naked. The guy has an impressively long cock, the chick has a nice, sexy bod with silicone-free boobs (and a fuzzy pussy, yes!), and best of all they seem to actually enjoy getting it on together. And they use a condom! This may sound weird, but I found that to be... if not a turn-on, then a pleasant novelty. So yeah, two naturally attractive people fucking for real and enjoying it for real and moaning and gasping for real works for me. It especially worked for me while being shtupped from behind, leaned over my desk by my man. Twice.
It's hard to explain, but this is the kind of porn I've been searching for. Put simply, it feels like it was made by a woman. There are no steroidal dudes with bad tans and bad haircuts, no chicks with ginormous fake breasts screaming implausibly over said dudes' cocks. It just feels like real, and really hot, sex. Yay for that. This is porn I'm excited to tell my friends about, and that's a first.
Thanks to Fleshbot, which recently posted a link to Ms. Starr's directorial debut (pithily titled "Downtown 3-Way"), I can now say I have seen the promised land. Having watched "Downtown 3-Way and the other free video on the site, called "Hollywood Hotel," I can also say that this is porn I feel good (really, really good) about watching. Here's my personal Siskel & Ebert take on both of them.
"Downtown 3-Way" opens perhaps none too promisingly, with a "set" that consists of a bed, a window and three walls over which you can clearly see the rest of the warehouse in which the film is being shot. Two gals are hanging out on a bed (aw, roomies!) when the doorbell rings and the newly moved-in guy next door comes in to... borrow a cup of sugar? And then rapidly ends up pantsless, happily engaged in a mutual ravaging with his new neighbors. All manner of oral, vaginal, and anal combinations ensue. This little film has been responsible for at least half a dozen orgasms in my household between myself and my man, and will be again in the future, for sure.
"Hollywood Hotel" is perhaps a wee bit... classier, or at least less overtly "we're filming porn in a warehouse over here" than "Downtown 3-Way." There's not even a suggestion of a plot — just two people making out in a hallway, giving & receiving a BJ in said hallway, then stumbling down said hallway to the bedroom to get naked. The guy has an impressively long cock, the chick has a nice, sexy bod with silicone-free boobs (and a fuzzy pussy, yes!), and best of all they seem to actually enjoy getting it on together. And they use a condom! This may sound weird, but I found that to be... if not a turn-on, then a pleasant novelty. So yeah, two naturally attractive people fucking for real and enjoying it for real and moaning and gasping for real works for me. It especially worked for me while being shtupped from behind, leaned over my desk by my man. Twice.
It's hard to explain, but this is the kind of porn I've been searching for. Put simply, it feels like it was made by a woman. There are no steroidal dudes with bad tans and bad haircuts, no chicks with ginormous fake breasts screaming implausibly over said dudes' cocks. It just feels like real, and really hot, sex. Yay for that. This is porn I'm excited to tell my friends about, and that's a first.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Grading on a curve
Ok class, today's topic is... wait for it... curved wangs. Do I have everybody's attention? Good. Let's begin.
Now, I've had the pleasure of knowing a handful (no pun intended) of penises in my day (though never all at once) — some short, some long, one uncut, etc. But I've only come across (again, no pun intended) one that really broke the mold. It sprang from his boxer briefs and, fully hard, curved rather majestically and unapologetically to the left. Well, my left, so his right. It was fun to play with but I have to admit that we didn't actually have sex, so I can only imagine what it feels like to have a large member insistently poking at one side of your vaginal wall. Probably feels pretty good, now that I think about it.
Now, my man has a somewhat curvy cock, reaching upwards toward the ceiling in a neat little arc. When I told him about the aforementioned listing penis, and that it listed so dramatically to the guy's right side, he drove himself nigh on nuts trying to find photos of similar looking cocks on the interwebs. But he had a really hard time. And then he found this very scientific poll, which you can see full size here:
Voila! Only 5% curve to the right! Mystery solved.
Anyway, further research turned up the following tasty bits which curve every which way. For your edification, let's discover the depth and breadth of diversity in the wide world of curvy johnsons.
The dick above looks pretty much exactly like the one I encountered in San Francisco lo these many years ago. Here's another angle:
This guys falls squarely in the rare 5% of right-leaning members, and it's a pretty fine specimen. This penis would require some creativity in terms of BJ technique, I think. Long, thick, graceful... Perfect form. Grade: A
Next!
Now, this guy also falls into the 5% of right-leaning cocks, but he's a little more casual about it, a little more nonchalant. The curve is a little more subtle, isn't it? Just towards the tip, which I imagine might do some very interesting things for your G-spot... It reminds me of my dildo, only the curve isn't on the up, it's to the side, and my dildo gives me enormous screaming orgasms, so I'm assuming this would feel pretty damn good, too. Here's a better view.
In general, a very nice specimen, with an attitude that isn't trying too hard. There's confidence in this cock - he knows what to do with himself and he knows you're going to enjoy it. Also, the guy is pretty cute. Also, this image appears courtesy of a site called PapiCock, which is fucking awesome. Grade: A
Next!
Now, this guy is not exactly my cup of tea (mostly because he looks like he's about 15), but there's just something so cute and plaintive about his dick. It's just staring at you with such a sweet, baleful expression. The curve is subtle - it's there, but not... intimidating. It's thick, but not too long. It's a highly approachable penis. Unfortunately for our purposes here today, not so curvy. Grade: B-
Next!
To borrow a phrase from my boyfriend, this guy looks like he could have sex with someone behind him with that thing. Holy shit! I'm terribly impressed with the length and curve of this penis, I really am. But I'd be intimidated as hell to have sex with it. I think I'd only be able to take about half of it... That being said, don't you just want to play with his balls? They look yummy. Grade: A+ (for the curve, of course)
Next!
A very sweetly curving penis. I would happily hike up my skirt and sit on that. But wait a minute....
What happened? Our lovely little left-leaning curve is gone. All it took was a little bit of gravity and, well, hmmm. Grade: C
Next!
Ok. I saw this image and had two thoughts: a) that's a really luscious looking (so smooth! so long!) pene, and b) it has nothing in common with the rest of these curvy wangs -- it needs to be in its own post about... I don't know, diagonal wangs. I was about to give him the first failing grade of this post, which was going to break my heart because that thing is so very attractive. And then I saw this:
Lo and behold! It does indeed have something in common with its curved brethren above. This angle also gives you somewhat more of an eyeful in terms of its proper length. Hel-lo. I'm giving our friend here a solid B (extra credit for creative presentation).
Next!
Now, I saw this and just... wow. It's a Through the Looking Glass penis! You can have sex with it doggie style and it'll feel like it's missionary! Missionary would feel like doggie style! Sixty-nine would be a completely different experience! The mind boggles. Grade: A-
Next!
Fascinating. Hard to pin down. It curves to the right, but is it also curving up? Down? Depends on the photo. I can't decide if I'm charmed or put off by the boxers. Grade: B+ (extra credit for sense of humor)
Next!
I saved this guy for last because I think he's the hottest of the bunch. There may be some penises in this post with more impressive curves, but this is the one that made me feel all squishy in my undies. He's adorable. His cock isn't too big and isn't too small (and his porridge isn't too hold and it isn't too cold, I bet). Juicy balls. And his posture lying on soft pillows against the headboard makes me feel like I'm about to step into a pornographic version of the CB2 catalog. His dick isn't that curvy, but fuck it. Teacher's prerogative. Grade: A+
Now, I've had the pleasure of knowing a handful (no pun intended) of penises in my day (though never all at once) — some short, some long, one uncut, etc. But I've only come across (again, no pun intended) one that really broke the mold. It sprang from his boxer briefs and, fully hard, curved rather majestically and unapologetically to the left. Well, my left, so his right. It was fun to play with but I have to admit that we didn't actually have sex, so I can only imagine what it feels like to have a large member insistently poking at one side of your vaginal wall. Probably feels pretty good, now that I think about it.
Now, my man has a somewhat curvy cock, reaching upwards toward the ceiling in a neat little arc. When I told him about the aforementioned listing penis, and that it listed so dramatically to the guy's right side, he drove himself nigh on nuts trying to find photos of similar looking cocks on the interwebs. But he had a really hard time. And then he found this very scientific poll, which you can see full size here:
Voila! Only 5% curve to the right! Mystery solved.
Anyway, further research turned up the following tasty bits which curve every which way. For your edification, let's discover the depth and breadth of diversity in the wide world of curvy johnsons.
The dick above looks pretty much exactly like the one I encountered in San Francisco lo these many years ago. Here's another angle:
This guys falls squarely in the rare 5% of right-leaning members, and it's a pretty fine specimen. This penis would require some creativity in terms of BJ technique, I think. Long, thick, graceful... Perfect form. Grade: A
Next!
Now, this guy also falls into the 5% of right-leaning cocks, but he's a little more casual about it, a little more nonchalant. The curve is a little more subtle, isn't it? Just towards the tip, which I imagine might do some very interesting things for your G-spot... It reminds me of my dildo, only the curve isn't on the up, it's to the side, and my dildo gives me enormous screaming orgasms, so I'm assuming this would feel pretty damn good, too. Here's a better view.
In general, a very nice specimen, with an attitude that isn't trying too hard. There's confidence in this cock - he knows what to do with himself and he knows you're going to enjoy it. Also, the guy is pretty cute. Also, this image appears courtesy of a site called PapiCock, which is fucking awesome. Grade: A
Next!
Now, this guy is not exactly my cup of tea (mostly because he looks like he's about 15), but there's just something so cute and plaintive about his dick. It's just staring at you with such a sweet, baleful expression. The curve is subtle - it's there, but not... intimidating. It's thick, but not too long. It's a highly approachable penis. Unfortunately for our purposes here today, not so curvy. Grade: B-
Next!
To borrow a phrase from my boyfriend, this guy looks like he could have sex with someone behind him with that thing. Holy shit! I'm terribly impressed with the length and curve of this penis, I really am. But I'd be intimidated as hell to have sex with it. I think I'd only be able to take about half of it... That being said, don't you just want to play with his balls? They look yummy. Grade: A+ (for the curve, of course)
Next!
A very sweetly curving penis. I would happily hike up my skirt and sit on that. But wait a minute....
What happened? Our lovely little left-leaning curve is gone. All it took was a little bit of gravity and, well, hmmm. Grade: C
Next!
Ok. I saw this image and had two thoughts: a) that's a really luscious looking (so smooth! so long!) pene, and b) it has nothing in common with the rest of these curvy wangs -- it needs to be in its own post about... I don't know, diagonal wangs. I was about to give him the first failing grade of this post, which was going to break my heart because that thing is so very attractive. And then I saw this:
Lo and behold! It does indeed have something in common with its curved brethren above. This angle also gives you somewhat more of an eyeful in terms of its proper length. Hel-lo. I'm giving our friend here a solid B (extra credit for creative presentation).
Next!
Now, I saw this and just... wow. It's a Through the Looking Glass penis! You can have sex with it doggie style and it'll feel like it's missionary! Missionary would feel like doggie style! Sixty-nine would be a completely different experience! The mind boggles. Grade: A-
Next!
Fascinating. Hard to pin down. It curves to the right, but is it also curving up? Down? Depends on the photo. I can't decide if I'm charmed or put off by the boxers. Grade: B+ (extra credit for sense of humor)
Next!
I saved this guy for last because I think he's the hottest of the bunch. There may be some penises in this post with more impressive curves, but this is the one that made me feel all squishy in my undies. He's adorable. His cock isn't too big and isn't too small (and his porridge isn't too hold and it isn't too cold, I bet). Juicy balls. And his posture lying on soft pillows against the headboard makes me feel like I'm about to step into a pornographic version of the CB2 catalog. His dick isn't that curvy, but fuck it. Teacher's prerogative. Grade: A+
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Different strokes
I've been masturbating since I was 7 years old. Back then it didn't take much more than seeing two people kissing on a soap opera to get my motor running. As a grown up lady, I now rely on various kinds of stimulation: my hand, my vibrator, Barney (aka my sparkly purple dildo).... and porn. I'm not turned on by everything out there, but I've been surprised at how much my body, at least, reacts positively to even some of the nastiest, unsexiest stuff I've come across.
One thing that never fails to get me happy is seeing other women get themselves off. I don't know why! Wait, yes I do. Because women make good sounds. Because they writhe around. Because I know what they're feeling down there when they make those sounds and writhe around. I know that ache and the delicious squishy wetness and the buildup to those crazy contractions and the release.
This is a great compilation of real women having real orgasms, and it got me real hot, and I think it will do the same for you. I don't love the overproduced segments shot from above with the overwrought noir lighting, but they don't detract from the other bits of real-life hip-shaking, moaning ecstasy going on here. No need to thank me; this kind of work is its own reward.
One thing that never fails to get me happy is seeing other women get themselves off. I don't know why! Wait, yes I do. Because women make good sounds. Because they writhe around. Because I know what they're feeling down there when they make those sounds and writhe around. I know that ache and the delicious squishy wetness and the buildup to those crazy contractions and the release.
This is a great compilation of real women having real orgasms, and it got me real hot, and I think it will do the same for you. I don't love the overproduced segments shot from above with the overwrought noir lighting, but they don't detract from the other bits of real-life hip-shaking, moaning ecstasy going on here. No need to thank me; this kind of work is its own reward.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Motion on the ocean
As a youngish lady of the hetero persuasion, I've had what one might call conflicted feelings about porn. The feminist in me has recoiled from the very idea of it - it's disgusting! sexist! violent! aggressive! repressive! regressive! etc - and the horndog in me has of course been attracted to it, no matter the strength of denials about how wet my pussy gets looking at it/listening to it/watching it. This blog is an attempt to explore the wide world of porn in its various forms to see how comfortable one can get as a straight female consumer... and to make fun of the cheesy awful stuff that's out there and to compile a bunch of the sexy, titillating stuff to refer to when I'm home alone, hanging out with my vibrator.
So here we go!
Mr. Clean and friends courtesy of The Naked Daily Drool.
My boyfriend has been urging me to roam the internets in the search for things that get me hot. Let me tell you, I'm realizing very quickly that porn for straight women seems to be about as easy to find as a kosher cheeseburger. It seems like there's lots of stuff out there by and for dykes (and the hetero men and women who love them), and gobs and gobs of stuff by and for gay men and straight men and bi men. But for straight women who either want to watch hetero couples with real bodies get it on or look at naked dudes that aren't waxed all over? Not a ton.
That being said, these few images are a start. Mr. Clean above, for example - hot bod, clearly a large cock, and also a tendency towards personal cleanliness that now that I think about it might be verging on the weird (WHY DO YOU NEED TO WASH YOUR BALLS ON A BOAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN?).
There you have it. Three naked dudes in my first real post. Maybe this won't be as hard (no pun intended) as I thought.
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